How to recover from a break up of a long-term relationship?
A relationship starts with the consent of two people but to break it, only one person is enough. Isn’t it unfair? Breakup turns ugly especially for ones who deeply invested their time and efforts into making a relationship work. I will walk you through some effective tips on how to recover from a break up of a long-term relationship?
What are the 7 stages of a breakup?
I can understand the situation is hard for you right now. You feel miserable but you must know that you are going to be okay, my friend. Do you know that break-up is a process and has stages before you completely get over it? Yes, it takes time and once you pass these stages you become the strongest and better version of yourself. I want you to know that this may seem impossible but if you deal with it mindfully you will be so grateful of yourself later.
The stages include:
- Shock & Denial: State of disbelief and numbed feelings.
- Pain & Guilt: You may feel that the separation is unbearable and that you’re making other’s lives harder because of your feelings and needs.
- Anger & Helplessness: You feel angry that you can do nothing about how you feel and want to do anything to get relief from these feelings.
- Depression: State of isolation and loneliness during which you process and reflect on the loss.
- No-Feeling state: At this point, the stages of grief like anger and pain have died down, and you actually don’t feel anything but still have a relaxed mind.
- Reconstruction: You can begin to put pieces of your life back together.
- Acceptance & Hope: This is a gradual acceptance of the new way of life and a feeling of possibility in the future.
How do you let go of someone you still love?
You loved them with all your heart. Did every little effort to make them happy and stay. Never asked for anything more than their love but still, they did not choose you. Nothing could hurt so bad as much as this hurts. But hear me out dear, you deserve to be loved too. You need someone who genuinely values you and your feelings. You need someone who doesn’t think that you are high-maintenance or too much to handle.
Life is not so big as we think it is. Make every second of your life count by fully enjoying every moment of your life. Heartbreak can be the most difficult situation in an individual’s life because you just lose the motivation to do anything. You feel that nothing you do matters now. But my dear just know that everything still matters. If you take this break up as a challenge in a positive way you cannot imagine where it can take you.
You can only let go of someone or something when you feel that you deserve better. Mostly after breakup people start pointing fingers back to themselves believing they are not good enough and start feeling insecure. This is completely normal and happens to everyone in this situation. Instead, you just need to practice little self-love right now. Focus on yourself now and make yourself a priority. You need time to heal and only you can do this for yourself. Take some time off from everything and rebuild yourself again.
What is the big mistake people do after a Breakup?
After a breakup, a person tends to become so insecure and vulnerable that they jump to another relationship immediately just to feel better about themselves. Maybe this can go well for you but most people take wrong decisions like this and end up getting more miserable and unhappy.
Don’t run away from this. I know you are feeling bad and this may give you a sort of validation that you are enough but this will not last long. This is just a temporary relief. Instead, look for something that will make you more confident about yourself. Just feel what you are feeling right now completely and acknowledge even the worst feeling that you have right now till you no longer feel them. It may feel scary at the start but I promise if you handle it mindfully you will no longer feel the need for external validation and approval.
Practicing self-care and doing meditation can work wonders for you right now. Connect with your inner self and you will find the door to happiness again.
How long does it take to get over a long-term relationship breakup?
Even it was a long-term relationship, you can get over it as soon as you realize that there is so much in the world to be grateful for. Thinking about someone who does not even care about how you feel is just wasting so much time. You can get over a relationship right now at this moment if you are willing to if you know your worth.
We are not attached to a person but we are attached to the memories we have built with the person in the past. Even you had some really great memories just think of the reason for the breakup. What made you two break this relationship and know whatever happened was for the best of both of you.
Life happens, it’s okay you can move on. Change is never easy. This is a big turn in your life, it will not be easy but with patience, you can get through this, you beautiful heart.
Share how you feel right now by commenting below, also share your relationship story with us. Let us know your experience on how to recover from a break up of a Long-Term Relationship. What you did or are doing to deal with it. It may help someone. 🙂